引用:

原帖由 冰城来客 于 2010-1-1 17:30 发表

There were fourteen famillies who visited the milk factory this afternoon, we all walked around the workshop (should be dairy) and tasted fresh milk, we were all very happy.

Alternatively you co ...

You would never use commas like that in a proper english sentence, but I guess if it makes sense where you live...

In anything I've ever learned, you would only use a semi-colon to seperate segments of a sentence like that without the word "and" or something similar. Never commas, that's completely inappropriate. Periods are fine, but that does make it look a little choppy, but if you were going to combine it, you would use a semi-colon.

So it would be:

There were fourteen famillies who visited the milk factory this afternoon; we all walked around the workshop and tasted fresh milk; we were all very happy.

And it still looks very odd. Anyway.

The only way it would look proper with commas would be:

There were fourteen famillies who visited the milk factory this afternoon, and we all walked around the workshop and tasted fresh milk, and we were all very happy.

And that's obviously a run-on sentence.

If it were me typing this up, it would look like this:

There were fourteen famillies who visited the milk factory this afternoon. We all walked around the workshop and tasted fresh milk, and we were all very happy..

New year, new hairstyle. My Mom is always my hair dresser, and she is my sister's hair dresser too..

Happy New Year!.

Dad and Mom took my sister and me to centre park today. We fed ducks, geese and fishes in the pond. Then we had lunch in a restaurant named ''The king of duck''. The duck was very delious, but we waited around one hour.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-2 09:56 编辑 ].

引用:

原帖由 icetea 于 2010-1-2 05:28 发表
Happy New Year!

Thank you!

And

Happy New Year to you too!.

We went to a resturant after swimming. It named ''Little Fat Sheep''. The mutton was very delious. I want go to another restaurnt tomorrow..

I watched movie ''Ice Age 3'' today. It's great!.

That's strange!  If you like the mutton in this restaurant, why you want to go to another one the next day?.

引用:

原帖由 Wini妈妈 于 2010-1-4 04:30 发表
That's strange!  If you like the mutton in this restaurant, why you want to go to another one the next day?

Good question! Thank you so much!

I think he just want to try different restaurant.

What if we add but I want to......

I plan to have a birthday party this Sunday.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-4 19:30 编辑 ].

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-3 20:11 发表
I watched movie ''Ice Age 3'' today. It's great!

needs the definite article: "I watched the movie "Ice Age 3" today. It was great. (tense of both sentences should agree).

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2009-12-31 19:43 发表
I bought eight pencils, two ballpoint pens, a pencil box, a book, an excerise book, a note book, a box of badmintons and a pair of badminton racket in our school market. It's a funny day!

everything is fine with the sentence except "rackets" needs to be plural (since it's a pair) otherwise, I think "Notebook," should be one word, and a box of bandmintons would actually be a box of "shuttle cocks" or "birdies" wouldn't it?.

I like riding bike and I rode my bike just now.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-5 16:23 编辑 ].

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原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-4 19:26 发表
I plan to have a birthday party this Sunday.

Perfect, wouldn't change a thing..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-5 16:22 发表
I like riding bike and I rode my bike just now.

would probably sound better with an article or personal pronoun.

I like riding a bike.
I like riding my bike. or even "I like riding bikes" (generic concept)

In the second sentence, "just now" is probably pretty accepted british colloquial speech. In a formal written sentence it's redundant. Should probably more correctly be "I just rode my bike." So it's not "wrong" just a little casual..

I went to the school by myself this morning. And this afternoon I  went home by myself too..

I picked up my sister by myself yesterday. Am I brave?

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-8 21:34 编辑 ].

Our Cambridge English course came to end today. I like learning it.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-8 21:36 编辑 ].

.

We will swim everyday in the coming winter holiday.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-9 14:47 编辑 ].

Today is my birthday.I'm very happy!

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-10 20:47 编辑 ].

I lost my umbrella in the swimming pool.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-11 20:25 编辑 ].

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原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-11 20:18 发表
I lost my umbrella in the swimming pool.

The sentence is fine, although I wonder why one would have an umbrella in a swimming pool. Perhap you meant "at the swimming pool." which would mean more that he had taken it to the pool, and left it somewhere there (like in the lobby or in the locker room. To me, "in the swimming pool" means wuite literally we'd find it floating around in the water..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-8 21:32 发表
Our Cambridge English course came to end today. I like learning it.

again with the articles, needs an "an". "Our Cambridge English course came to an end today.

As for the second sentence I think I'd make it past tense and use the word study. "I liked studying it." seems to fit better, although I don't think there's anything technically wrong with the other..

great job!.

.

My frisbee went into the pond. I took it out with branch..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-12 17:35 发表
My frisbee went into the pond. I took it out with branch.

My frisbee went into the pond. - fine. I took it out with a branch or possibly I got it out with a branch or if you want to change the words slightly, I took it out using a branch. You could run the sentences together, to read: My frisbee went into the pond and I took it out with a branch, if you wanted to..

My sister caught a cold last night and she is coughing now..

My sister has a runny nose and a cough today, and she also has a fever..

Daddy and Mommy took her to hospital again last night. I hope my poor sister gets better soon.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-16 13:37 编辑 ].

My sister gets better today. We are very happy.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-17 20:27 编辑 ].

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-17 20:25 发表
My sister gets better today. We are very happy.

My sister is better today and we are very happy.------This sounds better..

I received the first letter from my penfriend today. I am very happy.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-18 18:04 编辑 ].

.

We are very busy this week. We will have English, math and Chinese final exam later this week..

We had English exam today, and we will have Chinese exam tomorrow.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-20 19:42 编辑 ].

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原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-20 19:41 发表
We had English exam today, and we will have Chinese exam tomorrow.

We had an English exam today, and we will have a Chinese exam tomorrow..

We had the Chinese exam today, and we will have the math exam tomorrow.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-21 19:35 编辑 ].

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-21 19:33 发表
We had the Chinese exam today, and we will have the math exam tomorrow.

We had the Chinese exam today, and we will have the math tomorrow.---------------Looks better..

Both my grandpa and I forgot my chess class this evening.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-22 20:57 编辑 ].

I watched the movie《Harry Potter And The Sorcerers Stone》this afternoon. It was great!

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-23 17:29 编辑 ].

I watched the movie《Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets》today. It was great!

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-24 19:57 编辑 ].

I watched the movie《Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of  Azkaben 》this evening. I love it.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-25 21:14 编辑 ].

不错。每天看一个哈利波特。.

We went to Pudong international airport by maglev train today. Then we came to Sanya by airplane. It took us three and half hours.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-27 19:56 编辑 ].

I got suntanned today. It's too hot here. While Shanghai is too cold these days. We had BBQ this evening. It was very delicious.

[ 本帖最后由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-27 23:06 编辑 ].

The seaview in Yalong bay is really beautiful..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-28 21:11 发表
The seaview in Yalong bay is really beautiful.

Yalong bay is really beautiful!----enough.

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-27 20:17 发表
I got suntanned today. It's too hot here. While Shanghai is too cold these days. We had BBQ this evening. It was very delicious.

We had a BBQ this evening. It was really delicious..