昨日买了几本Freddy的书,Freddy是个和Frank差不多大的男孩.Frank昨晚看了半本,今早继续看完了一本,应我的要求写了篇东西,我没有帮他改过.请大家帮忙看看点评鼓励一下孩子!

[ 本帖最后由 frank妈妈 于 2007-6-25 13:20 编辑 ].

孩子自己动手修改了一下,以下是二稿:
                                                                       Book Review
Section:Fiction                   Title:Tooth Trouble            Author:Abby Klein                Publishing house:Schoolastic
    This story is about a boy named Freddy. He was the only one who hadn't lost a tooth. Since his best friend,Robbie, had lost a tooth, he became the only one who hadn't lost a tooth.
    Freddy was very sad, and he couldn't even eat his dinner calmly. When his sister, Suzzie knew this, she said that she could let his stupid little tooth came out of his mouth. But Freddy and some of his relatives negate thi-s. In a hopeless situation, Freddy used his secrect weapon, Plan A, "Tape attack".
    Freddy went into Suzzie's room, and used Suzzie's tape to pull his tooth out of his mouth, but he failed.
    As Freddy wasn't an effete boy, he tried Plan B, "A stupid fight".
    Freddy argued with the biggest bully in the first grade, Max deliberately, and after the arguement, he was v-ery happy, for one of his tooth would came out of his mouth by Max's stout fist. But in fact, Max didn't hit his mouth, he hit Freddy's stomach! How pathetic, I couldn't even think about it.
    Freddy gave up.
    Just on that night, while Freddy was eating a strawberry ice-cream, a miracle happened, one of his tooth fe-lll into his mouth by itself. Freddy's wish came true, he would never ever heared others' ridicule.
    This story told us that if you thought you were hopless, just keep trying, don't be destroyed by any bad o-r  disgusting things, go ahead, the dawn of triumph would appear very soon.

(The end.)

[ 本帖最后由 frank妈妈 于 2007-6-25 20:37 编辑 ].

谢谢kitty!.