It is pink. It sparkles too. Beautiful and bright. It seemed to say:”Mimi,I will definitely come to your birthday party.”
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It is pink, bright and beautiful. It sparkles too. It seems to say :" Mimi,  I will definitely go to your birthday party.".

If you are an early bird you can use the morning time to remember lots of knowledge. But If you get up late, you will miss this precious morning time. It is a big mistake.（What a shame!) So we must KEEP EARLY HOURS
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remember lots of knowledge 说法中式英语。
It is a big mistake.用在这里不恰当。睡懒觉算不上是犯了很大的错误。不过，小朋友很可爱的。
可以改成。What a Shame!多可惜啊！

用了so,if,很不错。承上启下的连接词还要多用点, 两个if起头的句子说的内容正好相反，可以加Oppositely，这样读起来比较连贯，不过这个词对小朋友来说太难了。让我想想，可以用But代替。
Anyway, good try!

[ 本帖最后由 不二周助 于 2008-8-22 14:22 编辑 ].