1楼stephaniell
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发表于 2006-11-1 10:25
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(ZT)Manners 101 - How to raise socially savvy children.
Good manners aren't about trying to act fancy or impress other people. At their root, good manners are about respect for others. To help your child grow up to be graceful in social situations, start early and be consistent. It's also important to set realistic goals based on your child's age. Here's where to begin:
Toddlers
Now is the perfect time to begin teaching your child about good etiquette, because the keys to success are starting early and reinforcing the lessons. You don't want to overload young children with too many dos and don'ts, but basic social graces such as saying "please" and "thank you" are perfectly appropriate at this age. Teach your child by modeling good manners yourself and by prompting him to say the "magic words" when appropriate. For example, when your child asks for a cookie, remind him that he needs to say please before you oblige. And be generous with the praise when your child shows good manners. Really little kids can't be expected to remember their manners all the time -- they will slip up from time to time -- but the more positive encouragement you give, the more likely they'll be to remember. Check out these books: Elmo's Good Manners Game by Catherine Samuel and Maggie Swanson Excuse Me! A Little Book of Manners by Karen Katz
Preschoolers
By this age, kids can begin to understand broader concepts and why things are done the way they are. Plus, preschoolers are probably in more social situations -- birthday parties, preschool, etc. -- where good manners are even more important. Now is a good time to teach and reinforce the importance of taking turns and sharing with others. Role-playing before a social event -- a birthday party or dinner at Grandma's, for example -- can help your child learn how to act in each situation. A gentle reminder in the car on the way to an event can help your child to remember what she practiced. Preschoolers can also "write" thank-you notes for gifts they receive. Their contribution to the note can be a picture or even their name written in crayon. The important thing is beginning the habit of writing thank-you notes early. Finally, continue to model good manners regularly at home. Practice making pleasant conversation at the dinner table and have your preschooler remain in his seat until he asks to be excused. This way, kids will learn that good manners are always appropriate -- not just when company is over! Check out these books: Manners by Aliki Toby's Please and Thank You by Cyndy Szekeres
School-Age Children
By this age, children should be well versed in basic table manners (don't leave the table until they're excused, chew with their mouths closed, etc.). You can work on improving your child's interpersonal skills by showing him how to shake hands properly (with a firm grip) and how to converse politely with adults and other children. Good telephone skills are important too. Teach your child to say, "Mom can't come to the phone right now. May I take a message?" Remind her not to yell out "Mom, it's for you!" when you have a phone call. Finally, instead of constantly telling your child what not to do ("Don't put your elbows on the table") explain what she should do. For example, "Please keep your elbows at your side and your hands in your lap if you aren't using them to hold your knife and fork." Continue to praise your child for good behavior as her manners grow. Check out these books: Madeline Says Merci: The Always-Be-Polite Book by John Bemelmans Marciano A Little Book of Manners by Emilie Barnes and Michal Sparks.
