引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2009-12-13 13:17 发表
I want to go to Singapore in winter holiday.

Someone correct me if I speak out of turn, but I think this is the wrong preposition for any english dialect. It should be "for" winter holiday. Again, in the US we'd more likely say "for winter vacation."

We don't go "on holiday" we go "on vacation" and we celebrate a holiday, but going on hoilday is perfectly fine in British useage..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2009-12-14 20:54 发表
One quarter teachers available today. The others went to hospital for physical check.

This one crosses some cultural lines again.

One quarter of the teachers are available today (at least need a verb in that sentence) The others went to (the) hospital for physical checks.

In the US we go to "a' hospital or "the" hospital, I realize it's not the same in other parts of the english speaking world. The physical chekcs either needs to be plural or have an indefinite article. I chose the plural route since we're talking about plural teachers. One could argue that the others individually went for "a" physical check and I don't think that'd be wrong either..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2009-12-17 20:31 发表
Till now I have learned freestyle, backstroke,breaststroke and butter fly stroke. I love swimming. It's good for me.

Instead of "Till now" I'd use "So far" or "Up til now" Neither of which I believe, is technically correct (i.e. they sound good colloquially, but not properl "Till now" is really just a shortened version of "Up till now" which is technically wrong becasue it's starting a sentence with a prepositional phrase. Also I believe back stroke and breast stroke are both two word combinations and butterfly is one word. A better consturction of the sentence would be: "I have learned the back stroke, breast stroke, and butterfly stroke so far." the rest is fine. English teachers may or may not liek the use of the contraction "It's" and insist on "It is" which sounds awkward and formal frankly, but is better for formal writing..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2009-12-28 20:24 发表
It was snowing yesterday afternoon. No snow today! What a pity it is! I can't play with snow.

Structure is fine. I think I'd delete the second exclamation point. You want to limit exclamation point use (or they loose their effectiveness.) Also, there seems soemthing alomst contradictory about "pity" being exclaimed....

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2009-12-29 20:04 发表
Sometimes I read with Mom. Sometimes I read with Dad.Sometimes I read to my sister too.

Sometimes I read with my mom, sometimes I read with my dad and sometimes I read to my sister.

Not all people would add the my, it depends where you are from as to how your English is structured..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2009-12-27 12:30 发表
Bananas sometimes look like smiles, sometimes look like telephones, but they always look good to eat.

I like this one just the way it is..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2009-12-26 12:12 发表
We are going to visit milk factory this afternoon. It's a pity! There are over ten children got flu this weekend.

The first sentence is fine.

"It's a pity" Doesn't makee much sense as a sentence of it's own, and it's missing the "who"...hhhmm let's see, foget the part of speech that would be called to explain.

Here are a couple of options: It's a pity, there are over ten children who got the flu this weekend and can't go." (I added the last part because it seemed there needed to be a reason WHY you were telling us this fact, so it's more a style thing, than a grammatical thing.)

or More than ten children got the flu this weekend and can't go; what a pity..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2009-12-26 16:11 发表
There were fourteen families visited the milk factory this afternoon. We walked around the workshop and tasted very fresh milk. All of us are very happy.

Okay, the first sentence is missing the "who" and it's really bugging me that I can't think of what part of speech that is called, so if anyone can chime in and help me, it would ease my mind.

Anyway - the Frist sentence shoudl read: There were fourteen families who visited the milk factory this afternoon.

I think the last sentence should also be in past tense, although I can see you could make a case for present tense. I guess it depends on the message being conveyed.

It could be "All of us were very happy." Which conveys the notion that we did this and it made us happy. Of "All of us are happy now." which coneys we did this and the result is that we are now happy. In general I'd keep the tenses agreeing, unless I specirfically added the "now" to differentiate the timing of the events..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来客 于 2010-1-1 17:30 发表

In the UK we don't call them milk factory's, we call them dairy's.

same in the US..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来客 于 2010-1-1 17:30 发表

There were fourteen famillies who visited the milk factory this afternoon, we all walked around the workshop (should be dairy) and tasted fresh milk, we were all very happy.

Alternatively you co ...

really, you'd use all those commas? I think he's right to be using separate sentences (considering this is the written word, not spoken word...JMHO.

and we call them dairies too, but I have hear "milk plant" so I figured it may be different in singapore...

So, nobody has come up with what "who" is in the sentence....can you tell it's really bugging me?.

引用:

原帖由 冰城来客 于 2010-1-1 18:34 发表

That is how we write in the UK, I know here we tend to write in longer sentences compared to the U.S, I always notice it a lot when I read novels by American authors.

and here we're always taught the the British are so proper with their writing.... The only reason I mention is is that I'm often called out on writing "run-on" sentences...interesting.

Ah, yes like: " A Saturday afternoon in November was approaching the time of twilight, and the vast tract of unenclosed wild known as Egdon Heath embrowned itself moment by moment.".

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-3 20:11 发表
I watched movie ''Ice Age 3'' today. It's great!

needs the definite article: "I watched the movie "Ice Age 3" today. It was great. (tense of both sentences should agree).

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2009-12-31 19:43 发表
I bought eight pencils, two ballpoint pens, a pencil box, a book, an excerise book, a note book, a box of badmintons and a pair of badminton racket in our school market. It's a funny day!

everything is fine with the sentence except "rackets" needs to be plural (since it's a pair) otherwise, I think "Notebook," should be one word, and a box of bandmintons would actually be a box of "shuttle cocks" or "birdies" wouldn't it?.

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-4 19:26 发表
I plan to have a birthday party this Sunday.

Perfect, wouldn't change a thing..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-5 16:22 发表
I like riding bike and I rode my bike just now.

would probably sound better with an article or personal pronoun.

I like riding a bike.
I like riding my bike. or even "I like riding bikes" (generic concept)

In the second sentence, "just now" is probably pretty accepted british colloquial speech. In a formal written sentence it's redundant. Should probably more correctly be "I just rode my bike." So it's not "wrong" just a little casual..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-11 20:18 发表
I lost my umbrella in the swimming pool.

The sentence is fine, although I wonder why one would have an umbrella in a swimming pool. Perhap you meant "at the swimming pool." which would mean more that he had taken it to the pool, and left it somewhere there (like in the lobby or in the locker room. To me, "in the swimming pool" means wuite literally we'd find it floating around in the water..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-8 21:32 发表
Our Cambridge English course came to end today. I like learning it.

again with the articles, needs an "an". "Our Cambridge English course came to an end today.

As for the second sentence I think I'd make it past tense and use the word study. "I liked studying it." seems to fit better, although I don't think there's anything technically wrong with the other..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-12 17:35 发表
My frisbee went into the pond. I took it out with branch.

My frisbee went into the pond. - fine. I took it out with a branch or possibly I got it out with a branch or if you want to change the words slightly, I took it out using a branch. You could run the sentences together, to read: My frisbee went into the pond and I took it out with a branch, if you wanted to..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-17 20:25 发表
My sister gets better today. We are very happy.

My sister is better today and we are very happy.------This sounds better..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-28 21:11 发表
The seaview in Yalong bay is really beautiful.

Yalong bay is really beautiful!----enough.

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-1-27 20:17 发表
I got suntanned today. It's too hot here. While Shanghai is too cold these days. We had BBQ this evening. It was very delicious.

We had a BBQ this evening. It was really delicious..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-2-2 20:41 发表
I go to chess school in the morning and go to swim in the afternoon this week.

I go to chess school in the morning and then swim in the afternoon this week..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-2-14 15:16 发表
We piled a snowman today. It has an orange nose and two black eyes.

We made/built a...........

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-3-4 20:53 发表
I bought a swimming trunks from our coach today. I haven't pay him yet. It's RMB 19. I'm going to pay him tomorrow.

I bought a pair of swimming trunks from our coach today. I haven't pay him yet. They were RMB 19. I'm going to pay him tomorrow.

Well done!.

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-3-21 20:37 发表
Dad wasn't at home this weekend. Mum took my littlle sister and I to have lunch at grammy's home.

Well done!.

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-3-21 20:32 发表
My grandpa is seriously sick with his heart disease.My Dad has been back to our hometown. Mum and I worry about grandpa very much.

My grandpa has been seriously sick ...............

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-3-21 20:32 发表
My grandpa is seriously sick with his heart disease.My Dad has been back to our hometown. Mum and I worry about grandpa very much.

.

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-3-22 19:54 发表
We will have a swimming competition this Saturday. I will take part in several items.

I think we'd probably say "events" rather than "items," here....
We will have a swimming competition this Saturday. I will take part in several events..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-3-31 07:47 发表
We are going to visit China pavilion today.

We are going to visit the China pavilion today..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-3-31 20:56 发表
We went to field trip today. In the morning, we toured Huangpu river by ship. In the afternoon, we watched two movies.

We went on a field trip today..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-4-3 22:12 发表
I got two students. They are Alex and Jody. They are from American. I'm going to teach them Chinese tomorrow morning.

I've got two students. They are called Alex and Jody. They are from American. I'm going to teach them Chinese tomorrow morning..

引用:

原帖由 冰城来的男孩子 于 2010-4-5 17:35 发表
Daddy and Mummy took my sister and I to the Botanical Garden today. We had lunch with my chassmates and their parents in front of our tent. We shared a lot of food, fruits and drinks. We are very happy today. It's a beautiful day, and we're in the Botanical Garden....

Watch our for the tenses!

Daddy and Mummy took my sister and I to the Botanical Garden today. We had lunch with my chassmates and their parents in front of our tent. We shared a lot of food, fruits and drinks.-----------past tense!

We are very happy today. It's a beautiful day, and we're in the Botanical Garden.-----present tense!.

Well done! Go ahead!.