查看完整版本: For Freshmen, Campus Life Poses New Risks

For Freshmen, Campus Life Poses New Risks

BRIAN C. FRANK FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES
By LISA HEFFERNAN and JENNIFER BREHENY WALLACE
AUGUST 17, 2016


The conventional wisdom after college drop-off is to wait and let your freshman reach out to you, but parents may want to rethink that advice. Growing research shows this is a high-risk time for depression, alcohol abuse and sexual assault.

The first few weeks of college are one of the riskiest windows: Many kids are independent for the first time and living with people they don’t know with a completely different sets of norms, said Robert Turrisi, professor of biobehavioral health and director of the PRO Health Lab at Penn State.

Parents may feel their influence on their incoming freshman has waned to almost nothing, but research suggests they can still play a significant role in mitigating risky behavior. Yes, your teens have one foot out the door, but continuing to talk openly with them, so that they know that you are aware of and care about their friends and activities, has been shown to positively influence the choices they make while they’re away.

We interviewed experts for their evidence-based advice on helping teens safely navigate the risky early weeks of college. Here’s what they had to say. (Interviews have been edited and condensed.)



Reducing the Harm of Alcohol

Alcohol has long been a staple of the college experience, but research by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism shows college drinking patterns are changing. Even though there has been an overall decline in binge-drinking, there has been a notable increase in the number of alcohol-related hospitalizations among college-aged young adults. That may be because many of those students who are binge-drinking are now taking it to new, riskier levels.

“We are now seeing some very serious binge drinking where people actually drink to blackout — 8, 10, 12 drinks in a sitting, dangerous levels,” said George Koob, director of the institute.


Tell your kids what you expect. Discussing your expectations around alcohol, both before and after your teen leaves for college, has been shown to protect against increased use. “For kids who haven’t been drinking, your goal is to push the onset of their drinking further out,” said Dr. Turrisi. “The data show that the earlier a teen starts drinking, the greater their risk of alcohol and other substance abuse problems later on. For kids who have already been drinking and getting into trouble, your goal is to reduce the risk. Explain that college is an opportunity for them to reinvent themselves. Talk to them about what you think is a safe amount to drink and why the data support none at this age. “

Set up Uber and Lyft accounts. It’s a small, practical step to prevent drinking and driving. “We gave our kids Uber and Lyft accounts and we pay the bill,” said Dr. Turrisi. “They never have to get into a car with someone who has been drinking or taking drugs or drive when they’ve been drinking. For a parent, it’s a tool and an opportunity to reinforce the message.”

Give them the facts about teen drinking. “Social norms or what we think others are doing, shape our expectations,” said Julia Routbort, associate dean of student affairs for health and wellness at Skidmore College: “When you think every student is drinking, which is not the case, or everyone is drinking 10 shots, which is absolutely not the case, it just pushes you in the direction of that behavior. But, when you have more accurate information, we know that those students are going to make healthier choices.” Parents can search college websites for social norms campaigns or the alcohol abuse institute’s website for statistics and tips.




Lowering the Risk for Sexual Assault

There are many reasons the first year of college is a high risk time for sexual assault, like increased alcohol consumption, expectations about sexual hookups, newfound freedom, and the sometimes predatory behavior of upperclassmen. Kate Carey, a professor of behavioral and social sciences at Brown University School of Public Health, found in her research that one in six freshman women had either experienced an attempted or completed rape and 83 percent of these were incapacitated rape. Research shows that college freshman and sophomores are the most at risk, and that the highest risk is during the first few months of the school year.

Talk to daughters and sons about sexual assault. Danielle Dooley, a pediatrician at Children’s National Health System in Washington, D.C., suggested discussing the recent sexual assault case at Stanford. Don’t just talk to girls about their risk; talk to girls and boys about social pressures, consent and the impaired judgment caused by alcohol. “The issue of consent and consequences has to be discussed before going to college,” she said. “Make it clear the subject is not taboo in your household, that you’re not afraid to talk about the worst thing that might happen to them at college. It is far better to have the conversation before they go, even if it’s awkward and not perfect, than to skip it.”

Teach them to ‘vet’ new acquaintances. Give your teen practical tips for getting to know someone new. Do you have friends in common? Do you know where they live? What do other people say about them? “Our data found that a particularly good way of reducing sexual assault or coercion risk is to vet the people you’re spending time with,” said Dr. Turrisi. “Tell your teen to find something out about the person they’re getting together with, what history exists, and anything that might be a warning sign.”

Discuss the role of alcohol. Most campus sexual assaults are associated with drinking, which can impair a student’s ability to assess risk or sense that she or he might be in a vulnerable situation. “In an ideal world, women should not have to do anything to avoid being sexually assaulted,” said Dr. Carey. “But, if we know that there are high levels of sexual assault in the freshman year, and the majority of those are associated with drinking and incapacitated situations, one implication is that parents should be talking to their young adult children about risk reduction, like when we lock our houses and cars. There needs to be an awareness that college isn’t a perfectly safe bubble. Students need to walk in with eyes wide open.”



Protecting a Student’s Mental Health

More than half of all college students report feeling “overwhelming anxiety” and over a third feel “so depressed that it was difficult to function.” Before freshmen establish close friendships, parents may be the only ones who notice a problematic increase in stress, anxiety or depression. Experts urge parents to listen to their freshmen, noting red flags like major changes in their sleep or activities, and to make certain their child knows where to seek help, if needed. “Freshman year is a period of vulnerability for some mental disorders, like major depressive episodes, because of the high stress levels of adjustment and the fact that the brain is still laying down those final tracks,” Dr. Koob said.

Don’t expect a location change to solve existing problems. Students with anxiety or depression problems at home will likely face similar challenges at college. “One thing that is poignant, understandable and gets families into trouble is the idea that college will be a geographic cure for underlying issues,” Dr. Routbort said. “If your student has had consistent difficulties with relationships or consistent difficulties with weight or body image, he or she may think that going to college will somehow solve that, and that is just not ever the case.”

Don’t add to their stress. Be mindful that college is a time of adjustment for students. “Parents have a choice to be either a stress reducer or a stress inducer,” said Dr. Paul Barreira, director of Harvard University Health Services. “It’s helpful to say to your student: You don’t have to have your best performance first semester in order to have a successful academic life or a successful life, period. Take the time to make friends, look at the different offerings. Don’t lose contact with your friends who are not at your school. Keep balance in your life. This is an important message to hear from parents.”


Talk to them about their roommates. Kids are affected when they are living with someone who may have mental health issues. Explain that they don’t have to take on other people’s problems. “You can send a child off to college who is well-adjusted, has great coping skills, knows their values, but they may be placed with a roommate who doesn’t,” said Dr. Dooley. “There are resources and people they can reach out to. I’ve seen it become a real worry for students.”

Call the college if you’re concerned. Parents should know that the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, a federal patient privacy law known as Hipaa gives their children medical privacy once they turn 18. But while their doctors may not be able to discuss a student’s health with a parent, that doesn’t mean the parent can’t reach out to share concerns. “Keep tabs on how they are doing, check in on their emotional state,” said Jeffrey Anderson, medical director at the University of Connecticut Student Health Services: “While Hipaa says that we can’t talk to parents without a release from your child, it doesn’t mean that you can’t talk to us. If you’ve got concerns, if you are worried, call us.”

While the risks of alcohol, sexual assault and stress can be frightening, the experts we talked to consistently advised that keeping the lines of communication open about difficult-to-discuss topics is a parent’s most important role during the college years.

“My advice is to be balanced in your communication with your child, express your interest in their lives but don’t be too intrusive or in contact too frequently. Helicoptering can backfire,” said Dr. Kim Fromme, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and director of the Sahara Lab. “Your goal is to help your teen build their autonomy and the skills to make thoughtful, good decisions.”

迎新，无论怎么开始，最终都是喝呗！学生会给的迎新大礼包里，一般都有套套的。

女孩子最怕喝醉:funk:
抗住peer pressure很重要。

回复 3楼pp_dream 的帖子

我猫的那个微信群，家长们常常分享孩子申学和大学经历，而孩子仍在高中的家长，每次问大学情况时都会问是否有饮酒case等。上周，我们群的那位校长在介绍中提到她大女儿在大学也有一次醉酒经历，当时还送医院了:funk:

这都什么校园文化嚒:Q

我记得三/四年前UVA的一位新生（女生）就是在入学头几天因为醉酒而失踪了。

喝酒，现在是美国高中和大学学生里很一般的模式，不管是好大学坏大学，虽然年龄不到不合法，但的确太普通了。
一般美国学生的party上，必有的是这三种调味品：1.毒品（大麻、海洛因、新型麻醉品等）  2.性（同性、异性）  3. 酒（高度酒兑果汁之类）   
如果你不沾这三样中的任何一样，那下一次别人办party就没人叫你了，你自己也不会要去了。那所谓的朋友也就没了。
[b][size=3]这些在中国家长看来是不可想象的，不能接受的事情，但这是真实的存在的，只是中国家长不敢面对、不敢相信而已，况且小孩也不会告诉大人的秘密。
[/size][/b]我只是说出了真实的话。
我儿子也同样面临选择，他选了“酒”。现在工作了，还会大概每周一次的喝酒。这是出国留学付出的代价，我心很痛，但儿大不由娘，希望他老婆能管住他了。

我儿子高中时的女朋友，在她斯坦福大学入学的第一年，在一次学校party上喝酒，醉了后被得同学强奸了，后来还查出得了性病。。。。。心里一直有阴影。1年后她转去了耶鲁，想重新开始新生活。这对女孩子来说是会在心里留下一辈子的痛苦记忆。

回复 7楼狗妈 的帖子

这个是不是混入西方人圈子的代价？对于根本混不进去，或者只愿意混中国学生圈的，是不是就可以避免这个风险?

想起我的同学，当年刚进美国的大公司，就是靠混吸烟室结交人脉，拿到了很好的外派工作。

回复 9楼toboyMM 的帖子

我们公司这个site，好像就只有极个别人吸烟（应该不超过10个）， 可能因为我们都是民工:P

回复 7楼狗妈 的帖子

最怕的就是这样的事情:funk: :funk: :funk:

回复 8楼toboyMM 的帖子

那只能混迹于华人圈子了。但也是有这些风险，只是几率低点。

回复 11楼pp_dream 的帖子

我女儿那年想考私立寄宿高中，我同事都挺不能理解，都说你不怕寄宿出事嘛？我这里的同事还没有一家让孩子上寄宿高中:$

我一直觉得顶尖的寄宿高中怎会有问题嘛~ 偶有听闻只是比例比较小，还是有事情。参观过排名很前的高中，一位家长盯着问，有没有drug issue。

我女儿上的是我们本地的大公立，三千多号人的高中。白区乡下的本地孩子，想好好学的有，比例就那么些，固定的。其余的白区娃，忙着整日交友的，忙着social的，玩体育的，玩乐队的。白区亚裔比例很低，但就这么点亚裔娃，竞争特别激烈，亚裔也玩体育，也玩乐队，但更多的还是亚裔娃及小比例的白区娃拼GPA:$

回复 13楼pp_dream 的帖子

我跟我女儿很严肃地讨论过高中的准则。她意思是她肯定是躲那些人远远的。我担心的是peer pressure:Q

前几天还为大学择校的问题我们俩争论半天，我和她爸爸都希望选择乡下学校，她想去城里学校，为这事我们吵半天，最后不了了之。

作为女孩子的家长，多一份担心:$

回复 14楼pp_dream 的帖子

还是要正确引导，家长不要太过霸道的强压小孩，这样，小孩到了大学，就会很放纵自己，因为他住宿了，你还能管得住吗？还是要把控适度！

回复 15楼狗妈 的帖子

我明白:handshake

我女儿这个年龄的小孩，自主意识特别强，除了原则性的rules我绝不退让，其他的我是低调又低调，沟通又沟通。
等她18岁上大学后，她自己对自己行为负责。我不再是监护人，没理由多管，就可以解放啦！ 盼着那一天呵！

回复 13楼pp_dream 的帖子

英国的私校，吸毒蛮严重的，原因就一个，小孩们手里零花钱多。我儿子学校上学期末刚开除了一个女孩，吸大麻的。他们学校那条路上，有6-7所私立学校，是本地私校扎堆的地方，也是毒贩子们比较多的地方，毒贩子们不仅卖大麻，还卖香烟，因为小孩子们自己买不到。

回复 16楼pp_dream 的帖子

国外的好高中，也是逃不掉吸毒，性问题，吓人

Drug, sex ...... 这些问题私立,公立都有.  从统计看, 公立还更严重.

回复 8楼toboyMM 的帖子

中国留学生圈子也不像以前那么单纯了。没看到媒体爆出的炫富、飙车、还有那个加州小留学生虐待同学的？那个男主犯居然说在监狱里英语水平提高了。

生儿与育女真是天差地别呐。。。
女生7岁一个生长周期。
所以，明辨是非是最好的。其次是有独处能力。
自己都搞不明白的就七搭八搭学着做圣母的就不要了。不多说了

[[i] 本帖最后由 悠优 于 2016-9-2 15:27 编辑 [/i]]

问题主要出在所谓的同辈压力上。。。