查看完整版本: 1-2-3魔法--更新第二章英文版

1-2-3魔法--更新第二章英文版

最近借到一本英文原版的“1-2-3 Magic:effective discipline for children"，看下来觉得很不错，所以打算翻译出来与大家分享。
我的操作步骤基本如下：
1. 输入一章英文原文
2. 使用google翻译
3. 对照原文和google翻译来写译文
4. 同时放出译文和英文，征求翻译意见
5. 定稿，删除英文原文。

因为没有英文版权所以，我只会在译文没定稿前把英文先留着，等译文出来后就会去掉英文，也欢迎各位有兴趣的爸爸妈妈帮我一起翻译。

[color=Red][b]本文版权保留，谢绝转载。[/b][/color].

Contents-目录

Preface to the Third Edition
Parenting:Not for the Faint of Heart!

PART I: STRAIGHT THINKING
1. Is It Magic?
2. Stop Behavior and Start Behavior
3. The Little Adult Assumption
4. The Two Biggest Discipline Mistakes

PART I: CONTROLLING OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR
5. Counting Obnoxious Behavior
6. Twenty Questions
7. What to Do in Public
8. Variations: Sibling Rivalry, Tantrums and Pouting
9. The Kickoff Conversation

PART III: NO CHILD WILL THANK YOU
10. The Six Kinds of Testing and Manipulation
11. Counting in Action
12. More Serious Offenses

PART IV: ENCOURAGING GOOD BEHAVIOR
13. 7 Start Behavior Tactics
14. Up and Out in the Morning
15. Cleaning Rooms, Picking Up and Chores
16. Mealtimes
17. Homework and Practicing
18. Bedtime and Nighttime Waking
19. The Family Meeting
20. When Do You Talk?

PART V:STRENGTHENING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
21. Your Child's Self-Esteem
22. Overparenting
23. Affection and Praise
24. Real Magic:One-on-One Fun
25. Active Listening
26. Your New Life

第一次翻译稿，欢迎大家提意见，一周后删除英文原文

三版序言
育儿：不要胆小！

第一部分：理性思考
1。这是魔法吗？
2。停止行为和开始行为
3。小成人假设
4。最大的两个误区

第一部分：控制恶行
5。对恶行计数
6。二十个问题
7。公开场合怎么办
8。变数：兄弟姐妹的竞赛，发脾气和噘嘴
9。开始前的对话

第三部分：没有孩子会感谢你
10。六种测试和操纵
11。计数中
12。更严重的冒犯

第四部分：鼓励良好行为
13。七种开始行为的策略
14。起床和早晨
15。清洁房间，捡起东西和做家务
16。吃饭时间
17。作业与练习
18。睡前和夜间醒来
19。家庭会议
20。你什么时候说话？

第五部分：加强你们的关系
21。你的孩子的自尊
22。过度保护
23。感情和赞美
24。真正的魔力：一对一的乐趣
25。积极倾听
26。你的新生活.

第三版序言

暂时略过。.

Parenting: Not for the Faint of Heart!--育儿：不适合胆小者！

[i][b]The only people who think parenting and teaching are easy are those who have never done either.[/b][/i]

"Can I have a Twinkie?"
"No,dear."
"Why not?"
"Cause we're eating at six o'clock."
"Yeah, but I want on."
"I just told you you couldn't have one."
"You never give me anything."
"What do you mean I never give you any thing? Do you have clothes on? Is there a roof over your head? Am I feeding you in two seconds?!"
"You gave Joey one a half-hour ago."
"Listen, are you your brother? Besides, he eats his dinner."
"I promise I'll eat my dinner."
"Don't give me this promise, promise, promise stuff, Monica! Yesterday--at 4:30--you had half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you didn't eat anything at dinner!"
"THEN I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF AND THEN RUN AWAY FROM HOME!!"

[b]Good Discipline, Good Times[/b]
  The only people who think parenting and teaching are easy are those who have never done either one. These tasks are arguably the most important jobs in the world, but they are also among the easiest to get wrong. Living with young children can be on of life's most enjoyable experiences,yet it can also become unbelievably frustrating if you don't quite know what you're doing.
  Adults with romantic notions of parenting often forget that it is impossible to give kids everything they want. Raising and educating children means that, in addition to nurturing and supporting them, you must also frustrate them on a regular basis--for their own good and for the good of everyone. "Now it's time for bed. Now you must do your homework. Stop teasing your sister. no you can't have the Twinkie. Over and over, firmness and gentleness are required.
  Unfortunately, when they are frustrated, kids do not usually thank their parents for trying to raise them properly. Instead, youngsters have an amazing, natural ability to confuse, sidetrack and aggravate the adults seen as responsible for the kids' current distress. We call this "testing and manipulation," and there are six basic types (Chapter 10). Testing and manipulation can eliminate fun, destroy affection, impair learning and--over the long run--ruin relationships.
  Repeat the Twinkie scene above a thousand times and you have guaranteed misery. That's no way for anyone to live and certainly no way for any child to grow up.
  Children don't come with a How-To-Raise-Me Training manual. That's why there is a program like 1-2-3 Magic. Adults need to know how to handle difficult behavior, encourage good behavior and manage the inevitable sidetrack of testing and manipulation--all in a manner that is fair, perfectly clear and not abusive. When children's inevitable troublesome behavior is handled in routine and successful ways, the warmer side of parenting is allowed to kick in. Affection, talking and listening, praise and shared fun can flow naturally. Good discipline, in other words, makes for good times and good relationships. That's the way you want it.

[b]1-2-3: Three Steps to Effective Parenting[/b]
1-2-3 magic will provide you with three steps for effective parenting. Each of the three steps is distinct, manageable and extremely important. The three Parenting steps are also mutually interdependent; in other words, each one depends to some extent on the others for its success. Ignore any of these steps at your own risk.
   Parenting Step 1(Part II and III) involves controlling obnoxious behavior. You will never like or get along well with your children if they are constantly irritating you with their whining,arguing, teasing, badgering, tantrums, yelling and fighting. In 1-2-3 Magic you will learn how to "count" obnoxious behavior, and you will be pleasantly surprised at how effective that simple technique is!
  Step 2(Part IV) involves encouraging good behavior. Encouraging good behavior, such as picking up after yourself, going to bed, being courteous and doing homework, takes more effort--for both parent and child--than controlling difficult behavior. You will learn seven simple methods for encouraging positive actions in your kids.
  Finally, in Step 3(Part IV) you will learn some valuable and not-so-difficult ways of maintaining healthy relationships with your children. Some parents merely need to be reminded of these strategies; other parents have to work hard at them. Paying attention to the quality of your relationship with your children will help you with Step1 and 2, and vice versa.
  Let's get going--and good luck!

第一版翻译于2009年12月21日 征集意见稿，欢迎指正

[b]育儿：不适合胆小者！[/b]
[i][b]那些认为为人父母和教育孩子都是很容易的人，肯定从来没有做过其中的任何一件。[/b][/i]

“我能吃一个甜点吗？”
“不行，亲爱的。”
“为什么不行？”
“因为我们六点要吃晚饭了。”
“我知道，可我现在就要吃。”
“我刚刚已经告诉你了，现在不行。”
“你从来不给我任何东西。”
“你什么意思？难道你没有衣服穿？难道你没有房间住吗？难道我不是刚刚喂过你？”
“你半小时前给乔伊吃了。”
“听着，你是你哥哥吗？另外，他晚饭吃的很好。”
“我保证我也会吃光我的晚饭。”
“不要跟我说这种保证，保证，保证的，莫妮卡！昨天下午4：30，你吃了半个花生奶油三明治，然后晚饭就一点也没吃！”
“那我要自杀！然后离家出走！！”

[b]做好规矩，享好时光[/b]
    那些认为为人父母和教育孩子都是很容易的人，肯定从来没有做过其中的任何一件。它毫无争议是世界上最重要的工作，但也是最容易出错的。带孩子可以是最令人享受的体验，也可能带来难以置信的挫败--如果你不清楚怎么做的话。
  对育儿有着浪漫想法的成年人，常常忘记不可能给孩子一切。抚养和教育孩子意味着：除了养育和支持他们，你还必须定期的给他们挫折——为了他们自己，也为了所有人。“现在是睡觉的时间。现在你必须做作业。不要再取笑你的姊妹。不，你不可以吃甜点。”--必须一遍又一遍坚定且温和地重复。
  不幸的是，当他们受挫时，孩子们通常不会感谢父母为正确养育他们所做出的努力。相反地，孩子们会有令人惊异的本能来将不幸的现状混淆、转移和加剧归咎于成年人。我们称“考验和操纵”，有六种基本类型（详见第十章）。考验和操纵可以消除欢乐、破坏亲情、削弱知识并且，长此以往，摧毁亲子关系。
  无数次重复类似的甜点事件注定是悲惨的。没人能这样生活，同样没有孩子该这样成长。
  孩子们出生时可没什么“养育说明书”。所以就有了1-2-3魔法这样的教程。家长需要知道怎样来处理这些错误行为、鼓励良好举止，并且处理由“测验和操纵”引发的话题转移——以一种公平、清晰且和蔼的态度。当孩子们不可避免的错误行为被按规矩成功处理后，亲子间温情的一面才会显现。亲情、交谈和倾听、赞扬和分享快乐才能是自然流露。做好规矩，才能享受美好的时光和亲情。那才是你想要的方式。

[b]1-2-3：成功家教的三步曲[/b]
  1-2-3魔法将为你提供成功家教的三个步骤。每个步骤都是不同的、可行的并且非常重要的。同时这三个步骤又是互相依存的；换而言之，每个步骤都需要靠其他步骤的支持才能成功实施。忽略其中的任何一步都是有风险的。
  第一步（Part II and III）涉及控制恶习。如果孩子老是用抱怨、戏弄、纠缠、发脾气、叫喊和打架来刺激你，你是永远不会喜欢与他们相处的。在1-2-3魔法里，你将学会如何“数”恶习，并且你会惊喜地发现这个简单的技巧是多么有效！
  第二步（Part IV）涉及鼓励良好行为。良好的行为，比如：饭后收拾自己的盘子（[color=Red]Picking up,此处翻译有待求证[/color]）、上床睡觉、讲礼貌、做功课，这些事情比控制恶习需要花更大的力气--无论是家长还是孩子。你将学习七种简单的鼓励孩子积极行动的方法。
  最后，在第三步（Part IV）你将学到一些简单且有效的维护与孩子之间健康关系的办法。有些家长只需要提醒一下，其他家长则需要努力实行。注意你与孩子之间关系将有助提升步骤一和步骤二的效果，反之亦然。
  我们开始吧--祝你好运！.

1. Is It Magic?

[color=Blue]简述：第一章基本就是宣传它这个方法的好处，推销自己，建议跳过前面内容直接看最后两段。[/color]

  1-2-3 Magic is not magic. Instead, it is a simple, precise and effective way of managing--gently and firmly--the behavior of children in approximately the two-to-twelve-year-old age range. The reason for our unusual title is that so many parents, teachers and other child caretakers have said, "It works like magic!" 1-2-3 Magic certainly does work if you do it correctly, which means following a few basic rules. The 1-2-3 is what you might call a "parents-in-charge" strategy or a "teacher-in-charge" strategy, but no arguing, yelling or spanking is allowed.
  The 1-2-3 program is currently being used all over the world by millions of parents, teachers, grandparents, day care centers, babysitters, summer camp counselors, hospital staff and other child caretakers.This book has been translated into many foreign languages, including Korean, Italian, Spanish, Japanese and Chinese. The "1-2-3" is also being taught and recommended by thousands of mental health professionals and pediatricians. At parent-teacher conferences, teachers recommend 1-2-3 Magic to the parents of their students. They also recommend the program to their colleagues.
  Why all the enthusiasm? As one parent put it, "1-2-3 Magic was easy to learn and it gave me results. I went back to enjoying my kids and being the kind of mother I knew I could be."
  The method described in this book is easy to master and you can start the program right away. You do not have to be a saint, genius or professional psychotherapist to use the 1-2-3 properly. Too many parenting programs start by pointing out the approximately fifty to seventy-five mistakes you are supposedly making with your kids at the present time. Then, in the hope of helping you to correct these errors, the program presents fifty to seventy-five elaborate parenting strategies that require an advanced degree in psychology in order to be able to use them properly. The result? You are left with bad feelings, confusion and no clear place to start. Worse than that, things in your house or classroom stay the same.
  After reading 1-2-3 Magic, however, you will know exactly what to do, what not to do, what to say and what not to say in just about every one of the common, everyday problem situations you run into with your kids. Because 1-2-3 Magic is based on only a few basic but critical principles, you will be able not only to remember what to do, [b][i]you will be able to do it when you are anxious, agitated or otherwise upset[/i][/b] (Which for many of us parents is every day!). You will also be able to be a kind but effective parent when you are busy, in a hurry or otherwise preoccupied.
  In addition to managing minor but frequent parenting problems, you will also know how to handle more serious difficulties, such as lying, stealing and fighting. With 1-2-3 Magic there is--surprisingly--much less in the way of technique and strategy to remember. That fact is extremely important when an adult is trying to deal with an emotionally charged situation involving a child.The strategies in this book are straightforward and the parenting guesswork is minimal.
  [i]You will find that if you use the 1-2-3 correctly, it will work![/i] The 1-2-3 has been shown to be very effective with two-to-twelve-year-olds, whether they are "problem" children or just typical youngsters. In fact, 1-2-3 Magic has been used successfully with learning disabled, attention deficit and emotionally disturbed children, as well as with the visually impaired kids. To benefit properly from the 1-2-3, the only rule is that[i] a child must have at least a mental age of about two.[/i]
  When you finish the 1-2-3 Magic program--whether in book, video or audio format--it is a good idea to start immediately. Talk with your spouse or partner, if both of you are living at home, and then get going right away. If you are a single parent, take a deep breath and then explain the drill to your youngsters. Do the same thing if you're a grandparent. If you don't start right away, you may never get around to it.
  If you're a teacher, begin explaining 1-2-3 to your students, send a letter home and have a parent night when you show the moms and dads part of the 1-2-3 Magic video. A picture is worth a thousand words, and many of your parents, after seeing the video at school (especially the Famous Twinkie Example), will want to start using the program at home. The resulting school-home cooperation and consistency are often worth their weight in gold, especially with more difficult children.
  If you are a mental health professional or pediatrician, suggest that your clients or patients get a copy of the 1-2-3 Magic book at their local bookstore. Or you can provide them with a copy of the book, video or audio. If it's the video, make sure you get a deposit or--sooner or later--you'll never see it again!
[b]  What to Expect When You Begin the 1-2-3[/b]
  When you do start 1-2-3 Magic, things will change quickly. But here there is good news and bad news. The good news is that initially about half of all kids will fall into the "immediate cooperator" category. You start the program and they cooperate right away--sometimes "just like magic." What do you do? Just relax and enjoy your good fortune!
  The bad news is that the other half of the kids will fall into the "immediate tester" category. These children will get worse first. They will challenge you to see if you really mean business with your new parenting ideas. If you stick to your guns, however-no arguing, yelling or hitting--you will get the vast majority of these little testers shaped up pretty well in about a week to ten days. Then what do you do? You start enjoying your children again.
  Believe it or not, you may soon have a much more peaceful home and more enjoyable kids. You will go back to liking and respecting yourself as a parent--all in the foreseeable future! If you're a teacher, you will be less exhausted by discipline and you will have more time for instruction.
  Before we get into the detail of the 1-2-3, we must clarify two very important concepts:
[i]1. The two basic types of problem behavior(Chapter 2).
2. The dangerouse assumption parents, teachers and other caretakers make about young children(Chapter 3).[/i]

先翻最后两句，其他暂略，2009年12月22日
[i]  在我们开始具体讨论1-2-3魔法前，我们先要搞清两个最基本的概念：
  1. 两种基本的问题表现（第二章）
  2. 家长和老师们做出的危险假设（第三章）[/i].

Stop Behavior and Start Behavior 不要做和快去做

[b][i]Stop teasing your sister and please start your home work![/i][/b]
  There are two basic kinds of problems that children present to adults. When you are frustrated with your youngsters, the kids are either (1) doing something you want them to Stop, or (2) they are not doing something you would like them to Start. In 1-2-3 Magic we therefore call these two kinds of things "Stop" behavior and "Start" behavior. In the hustle and bustle of everyday existence, you may not have worried much about the difference between Start and Stop behaviors, but--as we'll soon see--the distinction is extremely important. This distinction is also about to make your life a lot easier!
  Stop behavior includes the frequent, minor, everyday hassles kids present to you, such as whining, disrespect, tantrums, arguing, teasing, fighting, pouting, yelling and so on. Stop behavior--in and of itself--ranges from mildly irritating to obnoxious. Each of these difficult behaviors alone may not be so bad, but add them all up in one afternoon and by 5 p.m. you may feel like hitchhiking to South America.
  Start behavior includes positive activities like cleaning rooms, doing homework, practicing the piano, getting up and out in the morning, going to bed, eating supper and being nice to other people. You have a Start behavior problem when your child is not doing something that, in your eyes, would be a good thing to do.
  With Stop behavior problems, therefore, the issue is what the kids [i]are doing[/i]. With Start behavior problems, the issue is what the kids [i]are not doing[/i]. The reason for distinguishing between these two kinds of behaviors is this: You will use different tactics for each kind of problem.
  For Stop behavior, such as whining, arguing, screaming, and teasing. you will use the 1-2-3, or "counting" procedure. Counting is simple, gentle and direct.
  For Start behavior problems, you will have a choice of seven tactics, which can be used either singly or in combination. These tactics include Praise, Simple Requests, Kitchen Timers, The Docking System, Natural Consequences, Charting and a Variation of the 1-2-3. Start behavior strategies, as you can probably guess, require a little more thought and effort than counting does.
  Why the difference in strategies? The answer lies in the issue of motivation. How long does it take a child--if she is motivated--to terminate a Stop behavior like whining, arguing or teasing? The answer is about one second; it's really not a big project. And--depending on how angry or oppositional a child is--terminating an obnoxious behavior doesn't take tons of effort.
  But now look at Start behavior. How long does it take a child to eat dinner? Maybe twenty to twenty-five minutes. To pick up after himself? Perhaps fifteen minutes. To get ready for bed? Twenty to thirty minutes. Ready for school? Thirty minutes. How about homework? Schoolwork might take anywhere from forty minutes to three years. So it's obvious that with Start behavior, more motivation is required from the child. He has to begin the project, keep at it and then finish it. And the project is often something the boy or girl is not thrilled about having to do in the first place.
  In addition, if encouraging positive behavior in kids requires more motivation in the kids, it's also going to require more motivation from mom and dad. As you'll soon see, putting an end to Stop behavior using counting is relatively easy if you do it right. Start behavior is harder.
  When managing a behavioral difficulty with one of your children, therefore, you will need to first determine if you have a Stop or a Start behavior problem. Is the issue something I want the child to quit? Or is it something I want the youngster to get going on? Since counting is so easy, one of the biggest problems we run into is parents using counting for Start behavior; for example, counting a child to get her to do her homework. As you will soon see, counting produces motivation that usually lasts only a short time ( from a few seconds to a couple of minutes) in children. If you mix up your tactics (e.g.,use counting for homework), you will not get optimum results.
  But don't worry. This whole procedure is so simple, you'll be an expert in no time. Effective discipline will start to come naturally and--believe it or not--your kids will start listening to you. But first, you must learn to think realistically--and not wishfully--about your kids. You may have a dangerous false assumption floating around in your head about young children..

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旺爸家是“家具城”留了那么多位置
期待更多。。。[em01] [em01].

呼吁懂英格里西的旺友们帮帮忙，加快旺爸的速度。
俺就准备打印咯。.

留印细看。.

Parenting: Not for the Faint of Heart!--育儿：不适合胆小者！
The only people who think parenting and teaching are easy are those who have never done either.
那些认为为人父母和教育子女都是很容易的人，那仅仅是因为他们从来没有做过其中的任何一件

"Can I have a Twinkie?"
我能吃一个甜点吗？ （Twinkie是HOSTESS生产的一种夹心蛋糕）
"No,dear."
不行，亲爱的
"Why not?"
为什么不行？
"Cause we're eating at six o'clock."
因为我们六点要吃晚饭了
"Yeah, but I want on."
我知道，可我现在就要吃
"I just told you you couldn't have one."
我刚刚已经告诉你了，现在不行
"You never give me anything."
你从来不给我任何东西
"What do you mean I never give you any thing? Do you have clothes on? Is there a roof over your head? Am I feeding you in two seconds?!"
你说我从来不给你任何东西是什么意思？难道你没有衣服穿？难道你头上没有屋顶？难道我不是不久前刚刚喂过你？
"You gave Joey one a half-hour ago."
你半小时前给乔伊吃了
"Listen, are you your brother? Besides, he eats his dinner."
听着，你是你的兄弟吗？另外，他吃完了他的晚饭
"I promise I'll eat my dinner."
我保证我也会吃完我的晚饭
"Don't give me this promise, promise, promise stuff, Monica! Yesterday--at 4:30--you had half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you didn't eat anything at dinner!"
不要跟我说保证，保证，你的保证是废话，莫妮卡！昨天，下午4：30，你吃了半个有花生黄油和果冻的三明治，然后你晚饭就什么也没吃！
"THEN I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF AND THEN RUN AWAY FROM HOME!!"
那我要自杀！然后离家出走！！

[[i] 本帖最后由 快乐鼠尾草 于 2009-12-20 19:05 编辑 [/i]].

要出门了，晚上有空再来看.

回复 33#快乐鼠尾草 的帖子

这个能看懂，辛苦啦

有中英文对照也蛮好的.

回复 33#快乐鼠尾草 的帖子

对懂外文的人充满敬意。[tt23] [tt23] [tt23] [tt23].

旺旺爸真好，留个位继续看！期待ing.

最近正为“做规矩”这事头疼呢。.

[b]Good Discipline, Good Times[/b]
[b]良好的纪律，美好的时期[/b]
  The only people who think parenting and teaching are easy are those who have never done either one. These tasks are arguably the most important jobs in the world, but they are also among the easiest to get wrong. Living with young children can be on of life's most enjoyable experiences,yet it can also become unbelievably frustrating if you don't quite know what you're doing.
  那些认为为人父母和教育子女都是很容易的人，那仅仅是因为他们从来没有做过其中的任何一件。这些任务可以被证明是世界上最重要的工作，但也是最容易出错的。和小孩子一起生活是最享受的，不过，如果你不能十分明白你在做什么，也可能成为让你难以置信的挫败。

  Adults with romantic notions of parenting often forget that it is impossible to give kids everything they want. Raising and educating children means that, in addition to nurturing and supporting them, you must also frustrate them on a regular basis--for their own good and for the good of everyone. "Now it's time for bed. Now you must do your homework. Stop teasing your sister. no you can't have the Twinkie. Over and over, firmness and gentleness are required.
  有着浪漫想法的家长，常常忘记你不可能给孩子所有他们想要的一切。抚养和教育孩子意味着，除了养育和支持他们，你还必须定期的阻止他们——为了他们自己，也为了所有人。“现在是睡觉的时间。现在你必须做作业。不要再取笑你的姊妹。不，你不可以吃甜点。”一而再，再而三的重复，坚定和温柔都需要。

  Unfortunately, when they are frustrated, kids do not usually thank their parents for trying to raise them properly. Instead, youngsters have an amazing, natural ability to confuse, sidetrack and aggravate the adults seen as responsible for the kids' current distress. We call this "testing and manipulation," and there are six basic types (Chapter 10). Testing and manipulation can eliminate fun, destroy affection, impair learning and--over the long run--ruin relationships.
  不幸的是，当他们被阻止，孩子们通常不会感谢父母为正确养育他们所做出的努力。相反地，孩子们会有令人惊异的自然的能力来混淆、转移和加剧成年人对孩子们不幸现状的责任。我们称为“测试和操纵”，有六种基本类型（第十章）。测试和操纵可以消除欢乐、破坏亲情、削弱知识并且，长此以往，摧毁亲子关系。

  Repeat the Twinkie scene above a thousand times and you have guaranteed misery. That's no way for anyone to live and certainly no way for any child to grow up.
  上述的甜点事件无数次重复着，你悲惨的担保着。那是没有任何人能避免的生活，同样没有任何孩子能避免的成长方式。

  Children don't come with a How-To-Raise-Me Training manual. That's why there is a program like 1-2-3 Magic. Adults need to know how to handle difficult behavior, encourage good behavior and manage the inevitable sidetrack of testing and manipulation--all in a manner that is fair, perfectly clear and not abusive. When children's inevitable troublesome behavior is handled in routine and successful ways, the warmer side of parenting is allowed to kick in. Affection, talking and listening, praise and shared fun can flow naturally. Good discipline, in other words, makes for good times and good relationships. That's the way you want it.
  孩子们出生时没有带着如何养育我的培训手册。这就是有这样一个1-2-3魔术教程的原因。家长需要知道怎样来处理这些难以忍受的行为，鼓励良好的行为举止并且管理这些不可避免的测试和操纵的脱轨行为——所有一切在某种意义上都是公平的、非常清晰而不是恶语相加。当孩子们不可避免的棘手行为被正常和成功的处理，养育孩子时的温情一面才能实行。亲情、交谈和倾听、赞扬和分享快乐才能是自然而然的流程。良好的纪律，换言之，有利于美好的时期和亲密的关系。那才是你想要的方式。

[[i] 本帖最后由 快乐鼠尾草 于 2009-12-20 21:03 编辑 [/i]].

今天不翻了，太费脑子

第一次翻译，有不当之处，请大家多多指正

[[i] 本帖最后由 快乐鼠尾草 于 2009-12-20 20:09 编辑 [/i]].

搬个凳子，，坐着静等~~.

书到用时方恨少，希望这个是一个良好的开端~.

mark.

跑题：甜点和晚餐

小学生3点45分放学，形同饿狼。
我家的做法是直接吃晚饭。
这顿饭吃得很好，一点不挑食，荤素水果主食酸奶都吃得很好。
晚饭后到睡前间或吃些水果，喝牛奶，吃几块饼干等，但都吃得不多，因为4点钟的dinner吃饱了。
睡得晚的时候会说肚子饿，要求吃东西。我们建议她喝杯热牛奶，告诉她入睡前稍有饥饿感是理想状态。.

老外的饭菜确实差点

老外的孩子蛮可怜的。荤菜就靠一点酱汁，蔬菜几乎没什么味道，品种又少。难怪孩子爱吃甜点不吃饭。
我的一个朋友跟一个英国人结婚，这个英国太太厨艺极差，我的友人时间长了不免抱怨。英国太太还批评友人：抱怨食物不是绅士。后来他们终于离婚了。
要孩子吃得好，把饭做好吃才是正途。.

作规矩很重要，合理安排生活可以减小规矩实施的难度。.

回复 45#和你在一起 的帖子

我也是觉得要孩子吃的好就是要做可口的食物.可是我就是做不了,没有这个天分.
还有我也觉得如果孩子四点就饿的话干脆就四点吃的好一点,正规点,晚上吃的少点,也比较符合生理健康的需求.你的做法证实了我的想法.
我的孩子一般我接回来就是晚上六点半了,我发现孩子们巴不得是路上回家的时候就可以吃了,真可惜我的条件跟不上.
还有国外的吃,真的觉得比较差.我也能理解孩子们为什么喜欢吃甜食的原因了,因为正餐真的不怎么样..

喜欢LZ的选题，献花啦。.

不错的开头，希望旺爸坚持到底[tt23] [tt23] 并给快乐鼠尾草鲜花.

[quote]原帖由 [i]快乐鼠尾草[/i] 于 2009-12-20 16:43 发表 [url=http://ww123.net/baby/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=6347591&ptid=4697207][img]http://ww123.net/baby/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
Parenting: Not for the Faint of Heart!--育儿：不适合胆小者！
The only people who think parenting and teaching are easy are those who have never done either.
那些认为为人父母和教育子女都是很容易的人， ... [/quote]
自动翻译的就是不灵，谢谢你仔细翻译出来。.

建议旺爸征收志愿者，然后每个人翻一小段，再由一个人整合下，这样比自动翻译的好些。
我志愿翻一小段试试。这段时间正为了“做规矩”的事烦恼呢，翻出来，整体拿给爷爷奶奶外公外婆看看，也好有理论基础。.

1-2-3: Three Steps to Effective Parenting
1-2-3：有效育儿的三步骤

1-2-3 magic will provide you with three steps for effective parenting. Each of the three steps is distinct, manageable and extremely important. The three Parenting steps are also mutually interdependent; in other words, each one depends to some extent on the others for its success. Ignore any of these steps at your own risk.
1-2-3魔术将提供有效育儿的三个步骤。这三个步骤中的每一个都是截然不同的，便于管理并且极为重要的。这三个育儿的步骤也是相互依存的，换句话说，每一个步骤的成功在某种程度上都取决于其他步骤。忽略其中任何一个步骤都会给你带来风险。

   Parenting Step 1(Part II and III) involves controlling obnoxious behavior. You will never like or get along well with your children if they are constantly irritating you with their whining,arguing, teasing, badgering, tantrums, yelling and fighting. In 1-2-3 Magic you will learn how to "count" obnoxious behavior, and you will be pleasantly surprised at how effective that simple technique is!
育儿第一步（第二部分和第三部分）谈到如何控制令人不愉快的行为。如果你的孩子不断地用他们的牢骚、争论、戏弄、纠缠、发脾气、叫喊和争吵来激怒你，你绝对不会喜欢和孩子相处，而且也无法好好的相处。在1-2-3魔术中你交学会怎样来“注意”令人讨厌的行为，并且你会惊喜于这些简单的技巧可以多么的有效。

  Step 2(Part IV) involves encouraging good behavior. Encouraging good behavior, such as picking up after yourself, going to bed, being courteous and doing homework, takes more effort--for both parent and child--than controlling difficult behavior. You will learn seven simple methods for encouraging positive actions in your kids.
第二步（第四部分）谈到如何鼓励良好的行为。鼓励良好的行为，对父母和孩子双方来说，需要比控制困难的行为更多的努力，例如整理自己的烂摊子、上床睡觉、待人有礼貌和做功课。您将会学到七个简单的方法来鼓励孩子们的积极行动。

  Finally, in Step 3(Part IV) you will learn some valuable and not-so-difficult ways of maintaining healthy relationships with your children. Some parents merely need to be reminded of these strategies; other parents have to work hard at them. Paying attention to the quality of your relationship with your children will help you with Step1 and 2, and vice versa.
最后，在第三步（第四部分），您将学到一些有价值的并且不那么难的方法，来维持与你的孩子之间良好的亲子关系。有些家长很少需要用到这些策略，其他的家长不得不在这方面做更多的努力。注意，良好的亲子关系将有助于第一步和第二步，反之亦然。

  Let's get going--and good luck!
让我们开始 - 祝你好运！.

这个要收藏的。.

我在新浪看到过类似的, 贴一段, 看看是不是?

妈妈与宝宝的较量

　2004年06月28日 16:48　


　　“妈妈，我可以推这辆购物车吗？”4岁的佩塔跟妈妈去超市买东西，嚷着要推购物车。

　　“不行，亲爱的。绝对不行！看见购物车上的‘灰熊’标志了吗？这可是大人推的！”妈妈说道。

　　“为什么我就不能推？我也推得动！”小女孩的胃口越来越大。

　　“我不是跟你说过不行吗？你不要为难妈妈了，好吗？”

　　“那我推自己的车好了，就是那辆小的！”

　　“你别再说这个啦，我可不想听。快点儿吧，我们要买很多东西呢！”

　　“那不是我的事！我不管，我就是想推车！”佩塔大声嚷嚷。

　　“好吧，好吧！别这样了！”妈妈无计可施，只好给佩塔取来儿童购物车。佩塔大喜过望。不过妈妈将车把握在手里，表情严肃地看着女儿。“看着我，孩子！你必须向我保证，你不会推着车乱跑。否则你会撞到别人的，你明白我的意思吗？”

　　“我明白！”

　　“你要答应我，不会推着小车跑来跑去，好吗？”

　　“好吧。”

　　“你要向我保证！”

　　“我保证！”

　　“我们买东西吧！你不要离我太远，我得把东西放进你的车里。”

　　最初的5~6分钟，佩塔规规矩矩地推着车子走路。她没有迈步小跑——就像她保证的那样。但好景不长，她很快就兴奋起来，忘乎所以地跑了起来，而且脚步越来越快。她的“战车”在地板上驰骋，制造出“砰砰砰”及“轰隆隆”的声音。这一切使妈妈惊恐地睁大了眼睛。她看到女儿快速地穿越食品区，嘴里还“咯咯咯”地笑着，兴奋地乱叫着。佩塔显然是把许诺扔到了脑后。妈妈失望极了，她停止了购物，把女儿带离了超市。其实妈妈才刚买完购物单上的1/3的物品。考虑到事态的严重性，她不得不马上离开。她担心佩塔再次制造事端。算了，以后有机会回来，把其他物品补齐就是了，妈妈无奈地想。

　　与这个例子相似的事情，常会发生在年幼的孩子与妈妈身上。宝宝渐长渐大，渐显可爱，可带来的麻烦事也渐渐多起来了，妈妈们在为宝宝的茁壮成长而感到高兴的同时，也为宝宝操上了更多的心。

　　身处这个年纪的孩子，怀着对世界的好奇，探究的心理越来越重，由探究而活泼，由活泼而好动，由好动而惹麻烦。可怜天下父母心。面对宝宝的惹麻烦，妈妈们总是不忍过于违拗于他，于是不断地躲避、退让，可结果总是不断地达成孩子的期望，这也给自己带来了更多的麻烦事情。可这又有什么办法呢？孩子是妈妈心头的一块肉，妈妈们母爱慈祥，总是不愿意太过违拗宝宝的。

　　在这个时候，妈妈们总会这样想道：谁叫我是妈妈呢？

　　妈妈的退让鼓舞着宝宝制造麻烦的“勇气”，结果宝宝越来越活泼——越来越爱惹麻烦。如何使孩子听话，成了许多年轻的父母们最为伤脑筋的问题。面对只有几岁大的孩子，跟他讲空洞的大道理是没有效力的，他根本就接受不了。可若不跟他讲道理--教育于他该怎么办呢，难道揍他不成？孩子是妈妈心头的一块肉，这一巴掌总是揍不下去的。说是要揍，其实总落入"打轻了你，你又不怕我；打重了，我又舍不得你"的尴尬境地中。

　　宝宝越来越不听话，越来越淘气，终于有一天，妈妈忍无可忍，轻轻打在了宝宝的小屁屁上。宝宝感觉受到了极大的委屈，哇地一声哭了起来。听着宝宝的哭声，妈妈心都快要碎了。妈妈们都急切地想要知道：真的没有办法让孩子听话吗？

　　妈妈们都急切地想要知道：真的有办法让孩子听话吗？

　　答案是：有！这就是“魔法1—2—3”！

　　“魔法1—2—3”的发明者托马斯•费兰博士是美国著名的临床心理学家，也是一位久负盛名的育儿专家。自1972年以来，他将大部分时间付于研究并推广“魔法1—2—3”上。经全球数千万父母的实践证明：“魔法1—2—3”是一套卓有成就的育儿方法，它能尽快使顽皮的孩子乖巧下来，并促进孩子在创造性的发展等等。美国《父母》杂志对它曾有这样的评价：“它是什么呢？你能想像出来吗？一句话，它是‘奇迹’的代名词。”

　　读到这里，年轻的妈妈们一定急切地想要知道，拥有神奇力量的“魔法1—2—3”到底是什么样的？我也能学会这套方法吗？

　　这套方法操作起来相当简单，每一位都可以学会！它不需要你拥有高超的说服技巧，也可使你避免使用恶声恶气令孩子害怕的言语，它只需要你在孩子吵闹、乱发脾气等的时候说“1—2—3”就足够了。在你义正辞严的“1—2—3”之中，孩子自然会被威慑、得以反省及受到教育！这对当时你制止孩子的无理取闹及对孩子的长远发展来说，都有着重大的意义！

　　来看实行了魔法1—2—3以后，妈妈与宝宝的较量会出现什么样的情况：

　　“妈妈，我可以推车吗？”4岁的佩塔跟妈妈去超市买东西，嚷着要推购物车。

　　“不行！”

　　“为什么不行？”

　　“听话，我数1 了！”

　　“我就是想推小车。”

　　“2！”

　　听到妈妈那坚定的回答，佩塔只好打消了这个念头。.

回复 1#旺旺她爸 的帖子

原本放到译言上，很快就可以解决的。可惜被关闭了。

[url]http://www.yeeyan.com/[/url]

[attach]423601[/attach]

[[i] 本帖最后由 shumi1 于 2009-12-21 15:31 编辑 [/i]].

回复 54#山林 的帖子

就是这个，国内有一个老版的译本，但基本没货。.

回复 56#旺旺她爸 的帖子

我以前从新浪上下过一些,如果需要我可以陆续贴出来.

作为家长，你幸福吗？

　2004年06月28日 14:18　《魔法1-2-3》


　　家庭教育，既没有一些人所认为的那样容易，也没有另一些人所想像的那么可怕。“我想吃一块奶油果冻，可以吗？”“那可不行，亲爱的。”“为什么不行？”“6点钟时，我们就会吃晚饭。”“我知道。可我现在就想吃果冻！”“我说过快吃晚饭了！你不能提前吃东西。”“您什么都不给我！您从来都是这样！”“你说什么？我什么也不给你？告诉我，你没有衣服穿，还是没有房子住？你要是现在吃东西的话，再过几分钟，你还吃得下晚饭吗？你打算到时候，让我一口一口地喂你吃饭，是不是？”“就在半小时前，您不是给了乔尔一块果冻吗？我可都看见了！”“听着！你能像弟弟一样听话吗？他能把饭吃完，可你呢？”“我也没问题。我保证！”

　　“别对我保证什么了！老是保证来、保证去的，可是从未见你真正履行过。蒙妮卡，昨天下午4点半，你提前吃了半份花生酱，还有一块果子冻三明治。到了吃晚饭时，你却什么都没有吃。难道你全都忘记了？”“你要是不给我果冻，那我就自杀好了！哼！要是自杀没有成功，我也会离开这个家！”

　　作为家长，你幸福吗？

　　上面的“奶油果冻事件”，在现实中随时都会出现，想必你一定深有体会。有的父母以为，家庭教育是“小菜一碟”，这种看法可不对，只恐怕他们对于自己的孩子从未给予过真正像样的教育。家庭教育，是家长最重要的工作，也是最容易酿就大错的工作。我的意思是，和孩子生活在一起，可能是父母们最有意思、最为快乐的生命体验。不过，要是背弃自己的职责和本分，要是没有科学的教育方法，它就可能成为令人沮丧的人生经历。养女育儿，恐怕是很浪漫的事情吧？人们通常会这样揣测。其实未必如此。起码不该忘记这样一个事实：父母无法100%地满足孩子的需要。既然如此，孩子就不可能对你100%地满意！你的苦恼和压力是明摆着的。你要为孩子提供物质支持和营养保障。同时，你还免不了沉下脸来，粗声粗气地批评和责罚孩子。孩子们是一伙“感情动物”，你的教训会让他们好不心烦！他们先是烦恼和沮丧，接着产生反抗和叛逆心理。他们甚至与你公然为“敌”，气势汹汹，要与你“兵戎相见”。很快，你会发现家中狼烟四起。这样一来，你还有多少浪漫可言呢？且看下列情形：“到时间了！别磨蹭了！你该上床睡觉啦！”

　　“还等什么？快去做家庭作业！”“别去打扰姐姐！”“不行！你不能提前吃蛋糕！”作为家长，你穷尽口舌，向孩子发号施令，就像是吃家常便饭。孩子的表现让你不满，一天两天、一次两次也就罢了，可经年累月也不见改观！孩子们太神奇了，鼓捣出的花样层出不穷，气得你直眉瞪眼。你还能沉得住气吗？

　　当然不能，于是你拍案而起：“这还了得，反了你们不成？”一团怒火直窜你的脑门……事后，你叹了一口气，为适才的暴戾恣睢、痛失长者风范而难过。我当然理解你的感受。要收拾掉那些小造反者，既要态度果断，又得心平气和。这当然既不是容易的事，也不是“浪漫”的事。

　　孩子要是意志受挫、备感沮丧，你能指望他们乖乖听你的话吗？起码在短时间内，他们的脑子全乱套了。即使你及时点拨，他们也不会顿然醒悟，痛定思痛。的确，要是孩子们个个通达事理、对父母的教诲感激不尽，那该有多好！可这只是你的一厢情愿！父母无不望子成龙，孩子却未必领情。

　　对于年幼的孩子来说，他们不但小打小闹不断，甚至可能有令你惊奇的疯狂举止。你措辞谨慎，将疯狂的情形描述为“犯上作乱”、“倒行逆施”、“祸起萧墙”。这的确不是危言耸听！我的意思是，他们可以不知疲倦地与你周旋和对抗，使你惶惑而恼火。他们使尽手段，故意为难你，和你往死里较劲，叫你好不寒心。他们争辩起来，言语自成体系，极富攻击性！即便你以武力相威胁，也未必奏效——小家伙们也摩拳擦掌，一副力拼到底的架势！此情此景，你深知不可小觑。久而久之，上述情形只会减少家庭的快乐，削弱爱意，破坏你与子女的亲情。它们还将影响到你本人的学习和工作，致使你内外交困，止步不前。你可以想一想，前面关于“奶油果冻事件”的争执，如果1千次、1万次地重现，结果会是怎么样呢？

　　不用多说，无论是你还是孩子，都将落入可怜的境地！在这样的情况下，连你本人都难以正常生活，还能指望孩子快乐、茁壮地成长吗？答案当然是否定的！别忘了，这个时候，魔法就是你的“及时雨”！据我所知，没有哪个孩子异于常人，天生就擅长自我管理，天生就与“顽皮”、“淘气”、“闯祸”无缘，天生就能体会父母的良苦用心。即便果真有这样的稀世之宝，只怕也是凤毛麟角。

　　有鉴于此，你更有必要应用魔法1-2-3，让孩子听命于你的教诲，学会自我管理。魔法教育将带给你全新的体验！你想知道，怎样才能减少孩子的“违规”行为？如何才能让他们言谈举止得体？你还想知道，对于孩子故意顶撞你，试图与你较劲，是否会有更好的解决办法？还有，

　　在此过程中，家长怎样才能保持公正、客观、平和的态度？孩子就是孩子，消极或不当的言行比比皆是，而只有减少或避免这些言行，你才不至沮丧和懊恼，养育子女的快乐和幸福，才会相应地占据上风！魔法提倡的“爱”、“交谈”、“聆听”、“表扬”、“共同分享快乐”等主题，尤其能给你很大的启发。你可以深刻地体会到：科学的家庭教育，必然带来无尽的快乐。你也渴望与子女建立亲密的感情——这也是你本人，作为家长最大的梦想之一！相信我的话——魔法将满足你的一切心愿！

真的是魔法吗？  
     
   　　最初，当你告诉孩子，你打算动用魔法对付他们时，孩子的反应，可能让你大吃一惊。魔法1-2-3（简称“魔法”），当然不是神话传说中那种可以“点石成金”的魔法。可你绝对不能小看它！用它教育2～12岁的孩子，可以说是再合适不过.

我这有46页, 不知全不全. 我不会上传文件,要不旺爸给个邮箱我发给你..

回复 2#旺旺她爸 的帖子

2#有两个第一部分，应该是原文就有误。.

有第一版的中文版本，但是不知道怎么放到网上.

这本书由中文译本啊！干嘛这么辛苦翻译呢？.

[quote]原帖由 [i]旺旺她爸[/i] 于 2009-12-20 10:42 发表 [url=http://ww123.net/baby/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=6346842&ptid=4697207][img]http://ww123.net/baby/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
最近借到一本英文原版的“1-2-3 Magic:effective discipline for children"，看下来觉得很不错，所以打算翻译出来与大家分享。
我的操作步骤基本如下：
1. 输入一章英文原文
2. 使用google翻译
3. 对照原文和goo ... [/quote]

对尊敬的旺旺老爸的一个小建议。我认为，原文谈到的是父母对孩子的一种影响，或者说影响的方式，用“做规矩”作为主题，可能会使人产生“Make Rule”的联想，这样的话，可能歪曲了原文的本意，妥否，请斟酌。.

回复 62#ccpaging 的帖子

其实你看到后面就知道了，这本书就是在教家长怎样“making rules”。.

最近在为做规矩烦恼。期待全文。最近有空，可以翻译几段。.

很想看看，我们家就有一个小魔女，很霸道你和她讲道理不听，我真是要经常和她战斗，很累效果还不好。.

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[[i] 本帖最后由 鱼耳朵 于 2009-12-22 16:13 编辑 [/i]].