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Is compatibility of families on both side important to a happy marriage?

I see many discussion recently about not to marry a man born from a poor country village.
I actually am doubting about the statement, do you think compatibility of families on both side is important to a happy marriage?
From my perspective,
Marriage is a matter mainly between the husband and wife, therefore the compatiblity of the two them own are much more important than their respective familiy background. such as the compatibility of their vision, mission, value, outlook of life, education level, capability, interest and etc.
the family background is barely a matter of money
But anything that can be solved barely with money is not a vital problem at all.
But the passionateness to the family, responsibility to take care of each other, generosity to each other, loyalty to the spouse, are something really priceless that can not buy with money.
I am a little bit upset about such a vanity, materilized short-sight view.
Am I too idealism?.

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回复 3#cocoyangyang 的帖子

actually, I saw many small talks between you and your cyber friends, it is very lovely and interesting. I am quite envious about your atitude toward life, quite optimistic and relaxing.
Managing english is a torture to everybody, I can not even count how many frustrations that I had experienced. but some times you are your own biggest enemies, you have to fight hard against yourself..

回复 4#nice妈妈 的帖子

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Family leave a very first mark on a person and it can not be rubbed off a lifetime.

[[i] 本帖最后由 Emerald 于 2009-4-15 21:31 编辑 [/i]].

Similar background is definitely helpful for a successful marriage. It means your communication and daily behaviour are based on similar culture and mindset which will avoid lots of gaps and misunderstanding.

There is alway exceptions, of course, but if the couples are from similar family, their chances of running a harmonious family will be higher..

回复 7#凤凰鸣兮 的帖子

right, I think I've gonna understand your point from this perspective.especially, nowadays, when vertical mobility becomes harder and harder, children receive different education, foster different interesting point, It is very hard to imaging a city girl will have very much common point with a rural boy.
But people from similar family background might be different as well, I mean even if they are from same social pecking order, and they possess similar wealth, but they might be mentally different. it is not unusual, some well-round family are mean and snobbish.
Therefore, for me, the compatability are more from spirit level rather than material level..

回复 6#Emerald 的帖子

Agree with you. Family are people's first classroom.
But some families although are poor but they teach the kid how to love others, how to respect others. how to be sympathy. if what they lack is only oppotunities and financial support, I would value this boy much more than a spoiled boy.
Colloquially,"Hero never ask where he comes from"..

回复 1#nice妈妈 的帖子

Yes, the oriental family consider more on this.

however,  the occidental family consider less..

[quote]原帖由 [i]凤凰鸣兮[/i] 于 2009-4-16 13:53 发表 [url=http://ww123.net/baby/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=4834424&ptid=4632256][img]http://ww123.net/baby/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
Similar background is definitely helpful for a successful marriage. It means your communication and daily behaviour are based on similar culture and mindset which will avoid lots of gaps and misunders ... [/quote]
[tt18].

[quote]原帖由 [i]nice妈妈[/i] 于 2009-4-16 14:25 发表 [url=http://ww123.net/baby/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=4834840&ptid=4632256][img]http://ww123.net/baby/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
But people from similar family background might be different as well, I mean even if they are from same social pecking order, and they possess similar wealth, but they might be mentally different. it is not unusual, some well-round family are mean and snobbish.
Therefore, for me, the compatability are more from spirit level rather than material level. [/quote]

Yes, you are right. As a matter of factor, no body is exactly the same and there is no single factor that might gurantee a happy marrige. Life is full of surprises and it alway a promble how to survive the changes. Above of the things, love and understanding is alway top in the list that can help us through..

personally i believe marriage is not only a thing just between the married two persons, it is a marriage of 2 families, and apart from love, trust, money etc., living habits of these 2 families will also take a very important part in the after married life.

回复 13#扬扬妈妈 的帖子

I would rather think the less intervetion from both parents family the better for the young couple.
if the young couple grows up and entering a matrimonial status, which means they are all independent adults, they should take full responsibility to maintain the relationship chosed by themselves, and they got to adjust themselves to fit for each other.
let's imagine that if the young couple even are not able to accord the chasm as simple as their living habit, then how could they weather the storms shoulder by shoulder,hands in hands for the entire rest of life?
For example like me, after 10 years of marriage, I think my living habits are varied from my parent's already, I guess it is all because the interaction between my husband and I. it would be the same true for the next generation.

[[i] 本帖最后由 nice妈妈 于 2009-4-18 21:20 编辑 [/i]].

回复 14#nice妈妈 的帖子

Yes, agree to Nice Mummy's perspective for #14. But I don't think I can ignore the compability of family is a base of a happy marriage. As Nice Mummy's statement, you would find one clue-10 years marriage, it means one people spend so long time to adjust herself to another one. The critical merit is her tolerance. Unfortunately the young person nowadays is less of this merit. For long way to go in both life, compabilty of family as a block was removed. Same background, same life style and like, definitely, will be make marriage more happier,less trouble. I feel this movie is reflecting new Couple status:<New Marriage Age>..