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Why We Love Children

[color=Blue]Thought this might bring you odd smile[/color]
> Why We Love Children
> * * * *
> A nursery school pupil told his teacher
> he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
> 'How do you know that the cat was dead?'
> she asked her pupil.
> 'Because I pissed in its ear and it
> didn't
> move,'
> answered the child innocently.
> 'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in
> surprise.
> 'You know,' explained the boy,
> 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it
> didn't
> move'
> * * * *
> A small boy is sent to bed by his
> father.
> Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....'
> 'What?'
> 'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of
> water?'
> 'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
> Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'
> 'WHAT?'
> 'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of
> water??'
> ' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll
> have
> to smack you!!'
> Five minutes
> later......'Daaaa-aaaad....'
> 'WHAT!'
> 'When you come in to smack me,
> can you bring a drink of water?'
> * * * *
> An exasperated mother,
> whose son was always getting into
> mischief,
> finally asked him 'How do you expect to
> get
> into Heaven?'
> The boy thought it over and said,
> 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and
> out
> and keep slamming the door until St
> Peter
> says,
> 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or
> stay
> out!'
> * * * *
> One summer evening during a violent
> thunderstorm
> a mother was tucking her son into bed.
> She was about to turn off the light when
> he
> asked with a tremor in his voice,
> 'Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?'
> The mother smiled and gave him a
> reassuring
> hug.
> 'I can't dear,' she said.
> 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
> A long silence was broken at last by his
> shaky little voice,
> 'The big sissy.'
> * * * *
> It was that time, during the Sunday
> morning
> service,
> for the children's sermon.
> All the children were invited to come
> forward.
> One little girl was wearing a
> particularly
> pretty dress
> and, as she sat down, the minister
> leaned
> over and said,
> 'That is a very pretty dress. Is it your
> Easter Dress?'
> The little girl replied,
> directly into the minister's clip-on
> microphone,
> 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to
> iron.'
> * * * *
> When I was six months pregnant with my
> third
> child,
> my three year old came into the room
> when I was just getting ready to get into
> the
> shower.
> She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!'
> I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember
> Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.'
> 'I know,' she replied, but what's growing
> in
> your bum?'
> * * * *
> A little boy was doing his math
> homework.
> He said to himself,
> 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is
> seven.
>
> Three plus six, that son of a bitch is
> nine....'
> His mother heard what he was saying
> and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
> The little boy answered,
> 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.'
> 'And this is how your teacher
> taught you to do it?' the mother asked
> 'Yes,' he answered.
> Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher
> the
> next day,
> 'What are you teaching my son in math?'
> The teacher replied,
> 'Right now, we are learning addition.'
> The mother asked,
> 'And are you teaching them to say
> two plus two, that son of a bitch is
> four?'
> After the teacher stopped laughing, she
> answered,
> 'What I taught them was,
> two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is
> four.'
> * * * *
> One day the first grade teacher was
> reading
> the story of Chicken Little to her
> class.
> She came to the part of the story
> where Chicken Little tried to warn the
> farmer.
> She read, '....
> and so Chicken Little went up to the
> farmer
> and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky
> is
> falling!'
> The teacher paused then asked the class,
> 'And what do you think that farmer
> said?'
> One little girl raised her hand and
> said,
> 'I think he said 'Holy Shit! A talking
> chicken!'
> The teacher was unable to teach for the
> next
> 10 minutes.
> * * * *
> A certain little girl, when asked her
> name,
> would reply,
> I'm Mr Sugarbrown's daughter.'
> Her mother told her this was wrong,
> she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'
> The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School,
> and
> said,
> 'Aren't you Mr Sugarbrown's daughter?'
> She replied, 'I thought I was, but
> mother
> says I'm not.'
> * * * *
> A little girl asked her mother,
> 'Can I go outside and play with the
> boys?'
> Her mother replied,
> 'No, you can't play with the boys,
> they're
> too rough.'
> The little girl thought about it for a
> few
> moments and asked,
> If I can find a smooth one, can I play
> with
> him?'
> * * * *
>
>[color=RoyalBlue] Now keep that smile on your face and
> have
> a good day[/color]

[[i] 本帖最后由 不二周助 于 2008-5-9 09:09 编辑 [/i]].

:hug:.

[s:026.gif] [s:026.gif] [s:026.gif].

呵哈：）.

经典啊…….

[tt1].